Dating Super Thread

I wish someone had told me this as a young man, it would have saved me a lot of time & money.

How to vet for & marry a high quality girl.
1. Understand that girls do not long keep their virtue in this culture beyond age 18.
2. Ask your respected, married mutuals to match make you.
3. No sex before marriage.
4. On the 3months mark: Break up or propose.

Mutuals lend years of trust & credibility right into the beginning of a relationship.
And as long as you don’t have sex, & don’t draw things out longer than 3months, then there will be no awkwardness with your mutuals if it doesn’t lead to marriage.
Inversely, if it does lead to marriage, there is higher social pressure to make sure you keep your vows to your mutuals.

“Thrashing out the details” is the principal work of dating.

“Work expands as to fill the time allotted for it.” – Parkinson’s law.

Set yourself a deadline of 3 months and get to work!

Figure out your Masculine Role to the world:
Kings like to Govern ppl & value.
Bravos like to Gather & Ground ppl.
Deltas like to Grow & Guard value.
Sigmas like to Guide & Goad ppl.

Heres my video on the Masculine Hierarchy & its roles.

Figuring out our Masculine Role will do 2 things:
1. It will help you focus on building status at the things God designed you to do.
You’ll have more momentum in life playing to the strengths of your role, & therefore access to higher sexual-market-value (smv) women…

And 2. It will help you filter for which feminine archetypes best suit your Masculine Role:
The Important Helpmeet.
The Popular Helpmeet.
The Busy Helpmeet.
The Resilient Helpmeet.

The King will want to marry the Important Helpmeet.
He’s going to be supremely busy, so he needs a woman who is comfortable with the burden of rule: Optics, Power Politics, Loyalty, Loneliness, Criticism & Pressure, Guarding his Honor.

The Bravo will want to marry the Popular Helpmeet.
He’s going to be the popular guy with big ideas, lots of highs & lows, so he needs a woman who’s comfortable with going on the rollercoaster with him, hosting all his friends, enjoying a very social and fun life, being positive when he is down.

The Delta will want to marry the Busy Helpmeet.
He’s going to be the steady guy who goes about his work with duty & mastery, so he needs a woman who will value the security he provides, be competent with his money & household, & take initiative for her own time & duties while her husband is working.

The Sigma will want to marry the Resilient Helpmeet.
He’s going to be the solitary guy with unique ideas, lots of highs & lows, so he needs a woman who will ride or die with him, not wavered by ridicule or rejection from polite society, enjoys a nonconformist life, is positive when he is down.

 

My wife & I match archetypes, which makes things easy.
But any archetype mismatched marriages will still work through biblical masculine submission to Christ & feminine submission to husband, it will just take more time and humility to understand and benefit each other.

Serving women is not a man’s life purpose.
It’s ok to say no to women.

You don’t need a girl.
You need a mission.

Thankfully I stumbled across the manosphere before I met my wife.
If I were still a libertarian soyboy, she’d be forced into the masculine role, I’d be her helpmeet & we’d end up resenting each other.

Then some seminary midwit would be telling me to serve and submit to my wife to save the marriage.

No amount of archetype matching can make up for a feminized man.

In this culture, majority of girls are born into the frame of feminism.
Girls fill the container they are put in. A lot of guys are disappointed that they can’t find a perfect Trad Wife.
Don’t worry about that. Worry about whether she understands biblical gender roles and is willing to submit to your leadership and frame. Because then she can work at becoming a Trad Wife as you lead and encourage her.

Do you find her attractive? ie do you want to have sex with her?
Is she cheerful and respectful to you even under stress? ie do you like having her around?
Is she helpful and supportive to you and your mission? ie will she be a positive partner to your life goals?

If yes to these questions, she can figure out how to be your Trad Wife along the way.